The hardest blog I have had to post, on a very, very, special day. Happy birthday my love. This is for you.........

I am sitting here as nervous as can be knowing that these photos will soon become public. I have kept private for so many years now these images, just a few that remain of my days when I let myself go and became a person I do not recognize. Most of the photos I deleted. I begged my husband to get rid of them as I hated seeing them. We have years and years of our marriage that was not documented because I did not want photos of me. I regret this more than you know. But now is not the time for regret, but rather rejoicing!!

Today, January 19th is my husband's 36th birthday. I wanted to get him something special to commemorate his first birthday here in Norway but I could not think of anything. I shopped and looked around, yes, I found jackets, sweaters and such over here but he already has so many of these things and it was not want I wanted.  So for today, I celebrate you. I celebrate the man you are, the man God has blessed me with. Since we met back in 1998, you have changed my life.  I know you feel at times shocked at how you did not see just how far gone I was with my weight. Last night as we viewed my photos, I noticed the look on your face. It was as if you were looking at a stranger, in many ways, you were. It was your love for me that blinded you....blinded us both. I want to thank you for your devotion to me all these years. Your love, your support. Remember all the funny things I used to do trying to lose the weight? Remember the seas weed soap? I must have rubbed my thighs raw thinking that this soap would magically cure of me of my weight problem. Forget the fact that I was stuffing my face with food, the soap would work!!! I tried everything under the sun and it was not until we moved to Russia that for once in my weight loss journey everything CLICKED! You were there beside me through tears of joy seeing the scale going down, you were there helping me measure my body fat with the calipers, counting my pushups in P90X, making charts to help me track my progress, listening to me pour my heart out to you as I felt so lost, so worried I would not be able to lose the weight. You were there when I first posted my before photo on Sparkpeople and the journey began. You were there........you were there........you were there.......every step along the way. I could not have done this without you. Thank you for your support, your commitment to me. Thank you for every green drink you toasted with me, every crazy phase of my weight loss, for every plateau we had to break through.........everything.

So after years and years of hiding, I am posting these before and after photos for you! The journey is not over! I guess you could say, we have only just begun :)

Happy Birthday My Love.

Then and Now.....The journey that has made me who I am today.

This photo was taken December 2005, compared to December 2011.

This before and after is 2006 vs 2011 

Trading in frumpy plus size clothes for new running clothes!!! 

I remember in 2006 when we were living in Russia, after seeing my before photos in Paris...and a bad highlight job, I changed my hair color. I think I was trying to mask over the pain and be someone else. It was a struggle to see myself in the mirror each and ever day. 2006 vs 2011 

These two jacket before and afters are a comparison of Jan 2006 vs 2011. In the before photo I was wearing a mens jacket. I tried to get a good winter coat for Russia but nothing fit me. We were heading to Canada for a ski trip prior to leaving for Russia and I had nothing to wear. I went to Target as I was able to get a mens coat there which fit. It was embarrassing, especially once we moved to Russia and all the slim Russian girls where wearing fashionable coats. Years later, as we were preparing to leave for the US, I gave this coat away along with several other things. I will NEVER forget seeing this old man put the coat on and smile sitting on the bench in Russia. He gave me a thumbs up and said Thank you! I broke down and it still touches my heart to this day. Now, I am wearing XS and Small coats and it still feels like a dream but the sting of the memory from buying the mens coat is still with me and truth be told, I pray it never leaves. 

For me, these two photos speak volumes! Here I am in Paris, May 2006 vs December 2011. What a difference nutrition has made in my life! You ARE what you eat! Treats are fine every now and then.... but day in and day out what you eat WILL have either a positive or negative effect on your health. 

 I think this photo says it all....the after photo I am holding my jar of Vitamineral Green I mix up and drink!

I hated this before photo so much. It was taken in Paris in 2006. Recently we went back in May of 2011 and I was able to take photos along the same bridge! I thought it would be my after.....little did I know I would lose even more weight from that point.  Now, I have to go back and do another one! Do I hear another trip to Paris? I think so! :) 

The location where my journey began! Outside of Buckingham Palace May 2006 vs September 2011. I have lost about 11 or so lbs since this after photo......time for another trip! I will always hold a very, very special place in my heart for this fountain for it was seeing the photos taken on that trip which made me take that first step and start what has been the most amazing journey!

 I have a few more before and afters I will be posting soon. This has taken a great deal of strength for me to do this, it is hard but if seeing these can help motivate just one person, it is worth it.  If you are stuck in a life that you do not recognize and you want more, start today! You CAN do anything you set your mind to. It will be hard, very hard, but with patience, consistency and hard work, anything is possible!! It took me years to reach my goal, but it was worth it.  Do not wait for another year to pass by, do not wait for more memories to be lost because you are ashamed at what you have become.

I have this posted on my spark page. I wrote this back in 2007 when I started my weight loss page......


"I will leave you with this.  Every person who has made a change in their life remembers a specific point in time where something just clicked and they knew this was the moment to change.  This is that moment for each of us. Now - today - is the day for change. Forget what happened yesterday and focus on the daily changes you can make that will bring you closer to your goal. If you are thinking, "Well, it is too late, I am too old or too overweight" I want each of you to remember this - post it somewhere you can see it daily -

"It is NEVER too late to become what you might have been!" - George Eliot

You have been given today as a gift  - MAKE IT COUNT!!!"